Pam Takes Another Look at the Dundies
by Aracalien
Summary: Pam doesn't remember the Dundies. The night went by in a drunken blur, and she wants to know what happened. Pam watching the documentary footage with Jim . A one shot with two parts.
1. Chapter 1

PAM TAKES ANOTHER LOOK AT THE DUNDEES AFTER A MASSIVE HANGOVER

Pam was not a heavy drinker. She had a few beers, once, when she was eighteen at her roommate's party, but she'd cut herself off when she began to feel lightheaded and nauseous. She had never gotten properly drunk before.

It's funny-she really didn't remember at all what happened that night at the Dundies after Roy left, except a happy blur of color, and she was a little curious (not to mention embarrassed of being dead drunk in front of everyone); but she had to know the truth.

Officially, none of the cameramen are supposed to show any of them their footage until the documentary's finished, but she had bribed one of them into letting her see just this one clip.

Is this worth it? She asked herself, as she watched Dwight throw a microphone to a "ghetto-tized" Michael, who started his Dundie Rap. There was Ryan with the cue cards. Poor Guy-Michael always made him do the worst things for him, like steal that FundleBundle tape from Michael's grandmother's house on Bring Your Daughter to Work Day. Oh, and there was Phyllis, Kelly, Oscar at Jim's table. They were laughing, no doubt at something Jim had said.

And then there was her and Roy. They both looked pretty bored; Roy was wearing an annoyed expression as he watched Michael "do his thang", as her boss had told her earlier, when she asked, in so many words, what fresh hell they would be going through this year.

The frame went back to Dwight, bobbing his head to the music, and Michael, still singing. Pam felt bad for those people behind the platform, innocently going out to eat at Chili's, and being assaulted with the full blown horrors of being a part of the Dunder Mifflin Co. under Michael Scott.

She could just make out the waitress that stopped the show, walking behind Dwight. There she goes, taking the plug with her. Pam smiled. Dwight's expression was priceless. "The waitress tripped over the plug he said," he said, looking so much like a four-year-old, put out because he'd gotten his favorite toy taken away.

Pam remembered feeling full of dread right then, because she knew there was a very good chance that Michael would want to do the whole song over again, and Roy looked mutinous. Luckily her boss decided to move on with the show.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Dundies! I am your host for this evening, Michael Scott…"

The speech went on, and although this was not on screen, Pam knew Roy was looking at his watch.

A hard bass started, and she knew what was coming next. Michael announced the first Dundie, shirt unbuttoned and swaggering along to "You Sexy Thing". It was the "Best-Looking in the Office" award. "Which goes to-Ryan!" The camera zoomed in on Ryan, who could only be described as a deer in the headlights, as the spotlight was trained on him. "Come on down!" The poor fellow looked desperately around, but no one came to his rescue; Pam giggled a little to herself as she saw Jim give her T.V. self one of those raised-eyebrow looks as a startled-looking Ryan made his way down to a "sexy-dancing" Michael, holding the Dundie statuette.

So far, she remembered all of this, although it was fascinating seeing herself and everyone else from this point of view. Fleetingly, she wondered what people would think of them when they watched this documentary, and-she cringed-her completely drunk.

Michael was now doing impressions, though who of, Pam still couldn't figure out. The camera switched back to her and Roy, where Roy was getting up and telling her that they were getting out of this place.

"Oh, you guys are leaving?" Pam saw Jim say to her on television, and herself nodding. Despite Michael's truly awful jokes and puns, and her feigning lack of enthusiasm, she knew that Jim always had the best commentary for this sort of occasion, and she hadn't wanted to miss it. But Roy wanted her to go.

Pam blushed with embarrassment as she saw herself and Roy in the parking lot, shot through one of the windows in the restaurant. Just how much do these guys get on film?

She watched as Roy yelled something at her and grabbed her arm too tightly. That was when she had snapped. T.V.Pam ripped her arm from Roy's grip and told him she was going to whatever the hell she pleases, with or without his permission. Of course, the tape didn't catch that, as it was filmed through a solid wall, but the jist of it was there. _Wow_, she thought, _we look like one of those couples who have a terrible, even violent relationship. But that's _not_ the case with us- I mean, we had both just gotten off a long 9 to 5 shift; of course we're going to have spats._ But she still felt uneasy, and the image of Roy gripping her so hard, demanding that they both leave was stuck with her, as if someone had pasted it under her eyelids.

There was a noise behind her-someone had opened and shut the door. It was Jim. "Hey Beasly- what're you watching?" He sat down next to her, at the conference table.

Pam looked at him, and noticed there was the tiniest piece of hair sticking up on the side of his ear. She had the strangest urge to reach out and tuck it back where it belonged. "Uh," she said, mentally shaking herself, "the Dundie Awards. From last night," she added, unnecessarily.

"Oh," he said, nodding his head, "the infamous Dundies. Where are we?" He looked up, and saw T.V.Pam ordering another drink.

"Just in time to see me drink myself under the table."

He nodded, again. "Pam?"

"Mmmm…," came the answer, her eyes glued to the screen as she watched herself guzzle down three glasses of Tequila, with a look of faint disgust on her face.

"How much do you remember of last night?"

"Barely anything after this. Except Angela driving me home. Why?"

"No reason."

**A/n: Dun dun dun. How will Pam react when she finds out she kissed Jim at the Dundies? And just how is Dwight handling not getting an award for his shelf this year? Tune in next week, for Pam Beasly Takes Another Look At The Dundies After A Massive Hangover Part II! Feel free to tell me what you think, and point out any inaccuracies (I know there's probably many-I don't remember the whole episode word for word), and if you could remind me what happens next (I have a good idea, but then again more details can be added in for extra oomph, or whatever you want to call it.) So. I'm down on my knees, begging you, groveling at your feet, to please review! I will love you forever.**


	2. Chapter 2

"And this next award is going out to our own little Pam Beesly, I think we all know what award she'll be getting this year".

Jim watched the camera zoom in on Pam's face. She looked terrified, as if Michael had threatened her with a handgun instead of a small plastic statuette. Of course, Jim knew exactly what was going to happen next, but the Pam sitting beside him leaned in closer to the screen.

She knew that she did _not _get the extremely embarrassing "Longest Engagement" award, thank god, but she could have done anything in while she was drunk. What if she had taken off her shirt, flung it around wildly and did a lap dance for Dwight??

_Oh my god!-What if I did! _Pam started hyperventilating and paused the tape. She couldn't take this.

"Pam? What's wrong?"

She pulled herself together. If that _had _happened, she would have heard about it by now- Michael would never let her live it down. No, nothing that extreme could have happened last night at Chili's. She visibly relaxed a little.

"What-oh-nothing- just need some tea, I think."

"Ok," Jim said, watching her disappear into the kitchen. He knew something was bothering her (she had always bitten her lip or played with her necklace whenever there was something worrying her-one of the many things Jim stored away in the back of his mind), but Jim didn't want to push her. His eyes fell back on the screen, where Michael was frozen, holding up the plastic Dundie, about to announce Pam's award. He could just take the tape out, and put it in his desk. It was very tempting- but there was no getting around the fact that she would know exactly who took it, and demand she see it. And then he would back to where he started, worse even.

"Want some?"

"What?" It took a second to register what she was talking about. "Oh, no thank you. You know I'll get mugged after work if any of the guys sees me drinking Moon Mellow Green Tea."

She laughed, and Jim noticed the way her eyes crinkled and one tiny dimple on the left side drove him crazy with the urge to kiss her, right then and there.

He looked down, instead, and concentrated on her famously white Keds until the feeling passed.

Pam sat down beside him, oblivious to this, and hit Play.

"It is the _Whitest Sneakers Award_, because she always has the whitest tennis shoes on!" shouted Michael, and on-screen Pam looked ecstatic. She cupped her mouth with her hands, looking as if she had just won ten million dollars. On-screen Jim clapped as Pam skipped down to Michael. "Get on down here! _Pam_ _Beesly _ladies and gentlemen!"

The Pam sitting in the Conference room with Jim laughed nervously as her on-screen counterpart broke down in giggles. "Oh my god!" said the Pam on television, "I have _so _many people to thank for this award!" More giggles. Jim, (the one in the Conference Room) nudged Pam a little bit in the side, and they broke out in laughter as the Pam on T.V. tried to steady herself, and began her acceptance speech.

"O.K., "she said, taking on a serious tone, "First off my Keds, because I couldn't have done it without them," Applause-Close up of Jim's face looking amused. "Thank you. And also, let's give Michael a round of applause for M.C.ing tonight because this is a lot harder than it looks" Michael looks flattered while Jim claps appreciatively. Pam stumbles a little bit "And also because of Dwight too" More applause.

Pam (watching the tape) noticed how completely drunk she sounded, and giggled nervously. She looked at Jim and he smiled. Inwardly, though, his insides were twisted in knots, knowing that that kiss was only moments away. Should he stop the tape? He could make up some excuse, maybe:

Pam-oh god- I think I'm having a heart attack-

Whoah. No good. That would mean going to the hospital, and of course he would be found out. No, he needed to shoot for something less dramatic:

Pam-hey, here's an idea- let's go tape that congealing mixed berry yogurt to the back of Dwight's desk draw. It will stink for days, and-

It will stink for days, meaning Jim, who sits exactly perpendicular to Dwight (every Wednesday Dwight comes in with a ruler, a level and a really big protractor to make sure of this) would be smelling it too. It would be worth it of course (Pam would not find out that she had kissed Jim), but of course she would say 'Yeah, definitely, right after this'. His workplace would not only be smelly, but awkward too. He needed a different idea.

Maybe-

"And finally I want to thank God, because God gave me this Dundie…and I can feel God in this Chili's tonight." Pam looked deadly serious. "WHOOOOO!" she screamed, punching the air with her Dundie.

"Oh my god," said present-Pam, shaking her head a little, but still smiling.

_Lets hope it lasts._, thought Jim.

The two co-workers watched as Pam gave a bemused Michael a hug, and then turned around.

Jim could feel his heart beating painfully in his chest. He saw her curls bounce in to her face as she turned toward him, or rather himself from last night, and spread out her arms. He swallowed.

"_Yeah!" _said the Pam on the screen, running towards him.

And then she had her arms around him.

Jim could feel the heat rising in his face. He couldn't help but remember the way her body pressed up against his, the warmth of _her. _Pam. His Pam, for just that split second. And then…

She had kissed him.

And Pam remembered.

She remembered the dizzy, intoxicated blur of color and sounds and shapes. She remembered someone with a Chili's polo-shirt taking her license. She remembered the new-car smell of Angela's silver Camri.

And she remembered thinking, as she ran up to Jim that this was probably the best night of her life. And when she had embraced her best friend in the world, she found that kissing Jim came more naturally than anything in her life. She had done it without thinking, as if she had kissed him for years. As if she were engaged to him, and not Roy.

The thought both scared and thrilled her, and she began to shake.

"Pam?" said Jim, timidly.

She forced herself to look at him. There were the two familiar blue eyes and the same nose and hair and mouth, and she relaxed a little.

"Time of My Life" from Dirty Dancing was playing in the back-round, and Jim's voice on the tape was saying something about it being the best Dundies ever. "Um…So I guess we have something else to write about on the bathroom wall," said Pam, fingering her necklace.

Jim looked surprised for a second, then recovered and broke into one of his up-side down smiles, nodding appreciatively.

They were both laughing at Pam falling off of her stool when Dwight poked his head in.

"What are you doing?"

"We are appreciating your exceptional concussion-handling skills," replied Jim, looking serious. "See how he knows to cushion your head there?" he said to Pam, pointing at the screen. "_Very_ impressive."

"Yeah, Dwight, you should become a paramedic," said Pam looking over her shoulder at him. "Think of all the other people who _need your help_" She said these last three words with extra emphasis. Next to her Jim almost lost it.

Dwight looked flattered for a moment. "Well, I could never leave Michael…or An-" he stopped himself. "Andrew. The janitor. He's very…efficient." He cleared his throat. And then he noticed Pam biting her lip, suppressing her laughter and finally cottoned on. "Alright, recreational time is _over_. Dunder Mifflin cannot afford to miss any sales, and-"

"Then shouldn't you be making sales calls right now?"

"_I am Assistant Regional Manager_-"

"Assistant to the-"

"Shut up!" said Dwight "As I was saying, as Assistant Regional Manager I order you to go back to your desks and start working or else I will alert Michael to your whereabouts and get you both fired."

"Dwight, isn't your car a dark green TransAm?" said Jim, looking out the window.

"No, it's hunter green." Then: "Why?"

"Why did you tie it onto the back of a truck with three A's on the side?" asked Pam, leaning over Jim.

Dwight mouthed the words 'three A's'.

"Scheiße!" he swore, in German. And then: "My car's being towed you imbeciles!" and then sprinted out of the conference.

Pam giggled uncontrollably as they watched Dwight run out into the parking lot to find his hunter green car safely in its parking space.

"I'd say we have about a minute until he comes back up."

"Yeah," sighed Jim. "Better get back to work."

"I'll rewind the tape," said Pam. Jim nodded.

"Good work, Beesly."

"I learn from the best."

He smiled as he sat back down at his desk.

Pam turned her attention back to the screen.

She watched herself turn to Jim and say "Can I ask you something?"

Pam knew exactly what she was about to ask, and knew that if she hadn't seen the camera she would have said it. She'd come so close. What would she have done, then?

She erased the thought from her head. She was engaged-to Roy. She couldn't.

Jim is my best friend. _I can't_.

She repeated this in her head for the rest of the day, as she went through the 158 voicemails left in her absence, as he walked her to her car, and as she went home and saw Roy with a beer on the couch watching football. She repeated the mantra as she remembered seeing Jim standing in the street, watching her drive away.

_I can't_.

Fin


End file.
